Rover Jeopardy - Episode 2
by McCracken
Summary: Bear wished it was over, but the havoc is only beginning.


"Rover Jeopardy - Episode 2"  
  
Road Rovers and anything that relates to them is property of WB. Bear is property of Steven Today. Indiana &  
XL766 is property of McCracken. Chase is property of Kristen Coughlan. Duke is property of Greywolf Lupous.  
Jeopardy is property of CBS. Original concept from Saturday Night Live.  
  
Setting: RRHQ, Game Show room. It looks like the set of Jeopardy. Bear is behind a podium.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
Hello and welcome back to Rover Jeopardy. I'd hope that we weren't going to do this, but the network gave  
us another chance has long as XL766 wasn't in this episode.  
  
XL766 (Voice only, Mad)  
Suck it Bear!  
  
Bear gives an annoyed sigh.  
  
Bear (Blunt)  
Anyway, let's meet our contestants.  
  
The camera shows Chase.  
  
Bear (Voice only, Blunt)  
Chase has set a new Rover Jeopardy by ringing in two thousand times and never answering a question.  
  
Chase rings in.  
  
Chase (Happy)  
Hey Bear! It's a real honor to be here. I mean it's a wonderful thing, someone is tuning in thinking, 'What the  
hell is this?'. It's a real.....  
  
Bear (Mad)  
Enough! (Calming down) In second place is Duke with negative 800 dollars.  
  
The camera shows Duke.  
  
Duke (Happy)  
I know, kung-fu.  
  
Bear (Mad)  
Enough with the Keanu Reeves impressions already! (Calming down) And we also have Indiana, in a commanding  
lead with zero.  
  
Indiana (Confused)  
Where's the chick?  
  
Bear (Confused)  
Pardon?  
  
Indiana (Annoyed)  
You know, the hot dog chick who presses the screens and the letters pop up?  
  
Bear (Mad)  
Wrong game show! Anyway, here's the catagories today (The camera shows each catagory when Bear says it).  
"Potent Potables", "Dog Flicks", "Words That Rhyme With Dog", "What Time Is It?", "Opposites", "Hot or  
Cold", and finally "S Words". Indiana, you're in the lead so the board is yours.  
  
Indiana (Blunt)  
I'd like to buy a vowel.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
For the last time, you can't do that!  
  
Indiana (Annoyed)  
Well excuse me Mister I know Everything! (Blunt) I'll take Words the Rhyme With Dog for 800.  
  
Bear (Blunt)  
Ok, and the question is 'It's been a hard day's night, so I should be sleeping like a what?'.  
  
Chase rings in.  
  
Chase (Quick)  
Yeah, it's a wonderful thing, the Beatles in a Beetle singing "It's a been a hard days night!".  
  
Bear (Mad)  
Shut up!  
  
Indiana rings in.  
  
Indiana (Blunt)  
Whore.  
  
Bear (Blunt)  
No, that's wrong.  
  
Duke rings in.  
  
Duke (Blunt)  
Whore doesn't rhyme with dog.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
I know, that's why he was wrong. How about you pick a catagory Duke.  
  
Duke (Happy)  
Ok, I'll take swords for 100, I should be pretty good at that.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
Duke, that's S Words, not Swords! Let's just do 'Dog Flicks' for 600.  
  
Indiana rings in.  
  
Indiana (Blunt)  
Coyota.  
  
Bear (Confused)  
Huh?  
  
Indiana (Explaining)  
Coyota, Lacey, Jade, Colleen.....  
  
Bear looks up at the catagory. The screen shows 'DOG FLICKS'.  
  
Bear (Quick)  
No no no no no no! That's Dog Flicks! And the question is 'This is the name of the dog in ''Old Yeller" '.  
  
Indiana rings in.  
  
Bear (Happy)  
Yes?  
  
Indiana (Smug)  
I just remembered some more Rover chicks I've banged.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
You know what, let's just skip that question all together and go to 'Hot or Cold' for 600. And it's our Video  
Jeopardy.  
  
The screen is now a picture of Canis in a bikkini holding a mug of tea.  
  
Canis (Sexy)  
Jeez, this is some HOT tea. (Canis takes a sip) Ouch. Ok, here's your question, is the tea HOT or cold? HOT  
or cold?  
  
The screen goes back to the Game Show Room. Chase, Duke, and Indiana have their toungs hanging out, painting,  
and have puddles of drool on their podiums.  
  
Bear (Confused)  
None of you know?  
  
Duke (Smug)  
I don't think I got all of that, play it again.  
  
Indiana (Agreeing)  
Yeah!  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
I'll sum it up for you, is the tea hot or cold? Does anyone know if the hot tea is hot or cold?  
  
Chase (Confused)  
Is it iced tea?  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
No.  
  
Chase (Blunt)  
Then I don't know.  
  
Bear (Mad)  
I've had it, let's just do Final Jeopardy. You're question is, write anything. Write anything at all and you when.  
  
The Jeopardy Song starts playing as Chase, Duke, and Indiana write their answers. The song stops. Bear walks  
over to Chase's podium.  
  
Bear (Blunt)  
Well, Chase wrote nothing because he stuck his pen through his hand.  
  
Chase (Blunt)  
I don't know how I did this, but it's pretty funny because....  
  
Bear grabs his hand.  
  
Chase (In pain)  
Shazbot!  
  
Bear (Mad)  
Never come here again!  
  
Bear walks over to Indiana's podium.  
  
Bear (Blunt)  
Indiana put....  
  
Indiana (Blunt)  
Don't bother, I didn't put anything down.  
  
Bear pats his podium.  
  
Bear (Happy)  
Good dog.  
  
Bear walks over to Duke's podium.  
  
Bear (Upbeat)  
Well, maybe Duke has the right answer.  
  
The screen goes blue and shows nothing.  
  
Bear (Voice only, Annoyed)  
The question is write anything and you wrote nothing. Amazing. Let's see what you wagered.  
  
The screen shows '$ Texas'. The screen goes back to normal.  
  
Bear (Annoyed)  
And you wagered Texas, with a dollar sign in front of it.  
  
Duke (Proud)  
And no one helped me with that, I got it myself.  
  
Bear (Mad)  
Yeah whatever. That's it for Rover Jeopardy, I'm going home and putting a gun in my mouth. 


End file.
